Step Up 3D Soundtrack

“People dance because dance can change things”, says one of the interchangeable limb-flailers in the film.

 

Well, I know that’s why Archbishop Desmond Tutu studied for his undergraduate degree in Jazz-Tap. But I must confess, I thought that the dancers and actors in Step Up, Step Up 2: The Streets and Step Up 3D danced because they’re paid lots of money, and there are enough cinema-goers willing to pay to see sexy hard-bodied young things flinging themselves about on-screen to make the whole thing commercially viable.

 

The Step Up 3D soundtrack, of course, is as vacuous, self assured, and relentlessly enthused as the film. Vocoders are used throughout with such maniacal abandon that the whole thing sounds like a kind of terrifyingly confident robot glee club. There’s Busta Rhymes, blustering on auto-pilot, talking about how great Flipmode are (in case you didn’t hear him the first ninety eight times) and advising you to Tear Da Roof Off. There’s a song about moving your body. One about hitting the flow. One about having fancy footwork. Another one suggesting that you move parts of yourself.

 

The only thing more maniacal than their oppressive vocoder regime and their constant demands that you move your body is their outrageous hubris. “Anything can happen here!“. “We’re making history here!“. “This is the first dance movie in 3D!” (it’s not – Street Dance 3D was released in the UK first). I’d like to dissuade the cast of shiny-toothed glossy-eyed young’uns from the wisdom of such comments, but unfortunately I think the success of both film and soundtrack is fairly assured. Just close your eyes and picture the perfectly coiffured teens blaring this out of their shiny cars. The little rascals. Changing the world, with house music, hip-hop, vocoders, Busta Rhymes, major chords, pretty people, and break-dancing. Truly our lives will never be the same again.

 

Expect to see twenty-year-olds with sexy abdomens busting moves all over town, soon. Or not. Probably most of the sexy and talented ones are in films. So expect to see lots of untalented averagely attractive people dancing in public, soon.

 

[ movie-moron ]